Wednesday, 31 August 2011


I want to change. Everything. Well, ok, not everything, but quite a few things. It’s not that I am ungrateful for my life as it is at the moment, I like my life, I am very lucky to have what I have and I do appreciate it sometimes. I just want more. I want a better job that excites me and has possibilities and challenges. I want to move to a better area. I want a house. I just want a better way of living. Just like those who live in Lulworth. The way of living there seems to be simpler, happier, and even healthy. I’ve discovered an amazing place, and now nothing, not even “home” can compare to it. I know I have it better than most, and I shouldn’t complain or wish for better things. But it’s hard when you know that there is so much out there, so many things that are better than what you currently have. There is no way that I feel like I have reached my full potential yet (well, duh, I am only 22), and I feel like the way I am living won’t help me to achieve it. I don’t know. I’m just being contemplative after having my eyes opened to a gorgeous place. It’s only on the south coast of England, and there are probably far more places around the world that I will discover one day, but it felt like home, like I belong there.
I just keep thinking over and over that I’m wasting my life (and my degree!) doing what I am doing and that I need to move on, fast. Then again, my parents keep telling me “for goodness sake, you’re only 22, live, stop thinking about the future.” I feel conflicted with what I want to do, what I should do, how I should be, how I am, how I want to be.
I need to go back to Lulworth and contemplate a bit more. I wish!
I think, as Queen put it "I want it all, and I want it now!"

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