Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Getting back into my notebook and crafting phase!

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately as I’ve had a lot of free time at work (as I said yesterday, I am leaving, so I have nothing to do!). I’ve been reading ones on notebooks, and I just love reading about what people write, draw and craft in them. I’m nosey in life, so it plays to my curious side reading about other people’s notebooks! It got my creative juices going, and these were very useful for this Valentine’s Day. I made my fiancé a card! I love making cards, I seem to have become very good at it. Here is this year’s Valentine’s Day card:

 My card from me to him

 My gorgeous card, flowers and Pandora bag, in which was a beautiful charm for my bracelet. I was very spoilt, I am a very lucky girl.

On another thought, I really want to buy a Moleskine notebook, and try and do a sketch a day. I’m really not the best drawer, so maybe even a lyric or a poem will be suffice. This is something I will have to do when I come back from Paris, when I get paid, and when I have a spare £10!
I’ve been useless at blogging my last few days at the Village! I guess that’s because it has been extremely boring, nothing of interest has happened! I want to do a day in the life of me tomorrow, and do one next week to compare. It will make me very happy. How do I know? Well, for start, I won’t have to talk to customers. Secondly, I will be senior. It’s in my new job title. That means I will be important, and treated as so. It’s going to be amazing!
Can you tell how excited I am to start this new job? Can you? Can you!!? hehe!

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Happy Valentine's Day!

This year I was planning on just doing a meal and a movie on the Saturday before today, as our valentine’s celebration, and do cards today. I told him we were saving for a lot this year, holiday, deposit, car etc. We had a delish meal at Prezzo and watched a film that I really can’t remember when we came back home. It was a super snuggley lovey dovey night, with good food, great conversation and lots of laughs.  A perfect night. That's all I wanted, that's all that I expected.
Valentine’s day (today) comes around, and I’m just here, sitting at my desk, at work, doing not a lot (I’m leaving, honestly, they’ve taken away the work from me!) and one of the guys that work here bring to my desk a bouquet of beautiful 12 crimson (that’s the colour I want for my wedding now) red roses, with a card that reads “Happy Valentine’s day my beautiful fiancée. I love you”. I didn’t know what to do! I wanted to cry with happiness (I’m rather emotional atm, you should have seen me on Sunday, one minute I was happy, then angry, then crying, then laughing. The joys of being a woman eh?!)
Instantly a massive rush of love and stupid giggly happiness wafted over me! I can’t wait to jump into his arms tonight and give him a big thank you! 

Looks like he won’t get the “you didn’t give me anything speech”, but I had the singletons at work “I hate valentine’s day, it’s a stupid day bla bla!” speech. Sorry peeps, but wait until you’re in a relationship, I guarantee you’ll do the same muhahaha.

Monday, 13 February 2012

Wedding Nerves...about 2 years early!

My fiancé and I went to a wedding show yesterday at Bluewater shopping centre (well, the new event centre there). It was, well, mind blowing and confusing. I really enjoyed it while I was there, getting ideas for cakes, colour schemes, wedding dresses, venues, favours, flowers etc etc. It really helped us decide what we want.
We want a venue where you have the civil ceremony as well as the meal and the reception. I really don’t think I could do a church wedding. I am not religious, and I don’t think I could hack going to church every Sunday for 6 months, putting up with the hymns and the teachings and the fact that God is to blame for everything. When I was there, I just felt like I was being brain-washed if I’m honest, brain-washed into believing that we are all children of God and he is amazing and great bla bla bla (I apologise if anyone reading is religious, I really don’t mean any offense. This is just my opinion!)
So it was all jolly and fun and exciting, but I got home, my mum started talking to me about it, and I just broke down in tears. I got all angry and frustrated about it, saying that I can’t be bothered to get married, it’s too much of a hassle and I can’t think straight about anything. I don’t know what went through me! Maybe it’s nerves...two years in advance! My wonderful fiancé came to the rescue, just laughed and said I was silly (in a cute, non nasty way) and how he will always love me and he can’t wait to marry me. So that put me in a better mood, and we got talking about it.
We want to now go to a wedding show in Essex (as that is where we live) to see what beautiful venues there are around the county. I know what sort of dress I want similar to these:

See, where I am so darn small (5ft) I can't have anything too poofy or fussy. I love the simple, elegant sleek look of the dress, and I think that will be easier to amend to my height. We want our bridesmaids and colour accents to be a dark red,

and the flowers to incorporate roses, gerberas and other things! The colour scheme in my head is white, red and possibly hmm...dark green? 

Not sure on the third colour yet, if there is one! I know that I want a starry dance floor, and a “groovy booth” – a photo booth that you hire for 4 hours, it takes 4 different pictures, and it prints four copies, one for your friends to keep and one that you can put into a guest book for people to sign underneath. Oh and we want a live band, not a DJ. I love that idea. It is mine and no-one else can have it hehe =P.
That’s all I have so far – dark red and white colour scheme, dress style, venue type, flowers, and entertainment types. I think that’s’ quite good for a couple of years in advance. 2014 is my aim. 2013 is my aim for us to buy a house. 2014 is when I want to get married. Hopefully in April or May. Maybe March if it is warm! That will need discussing!

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Photo Updates..why not!

So the above photos are just a few from the many that were taken from that famous Friday night where I lost my memory of certain events that happened. I'm still hearing stories of things that I did that I just can't remember! (Don't worry, they're not, like, really bad, dis-loyal stories!) For example, there's a supplier at work who's voicemail thing is hilarious, his name is Allan. For some weird reason, I pointed to some man and asked if his name was Allan?! He said yes and I was telling everyone that "that man over there is Allan from the suppliers!) I have no recollection of that =[. But I had my co-workers (friends, really) with me, and they assured me that I didn't do anything I would have regretted. Not that I'm of that nature anyway, but it is a little weird when people tell you things that you can't remember! I love that one with my eyes closed. It's brill!

This is the scene from Sunday 5th Feb morning. It snowed about 4 inches. As nice and pretty as it makes the world, it's a right pain in the arse, and I hate how it just makes life come to a complete hault! It's due to snow here again this week, and I am really wishing and hoping that it won't!

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Valentines Day

So Valetines Day is looming, and people are groaning and moaning and whining about it. Especially those who are single.
I am a little aprehensive with this day. Although I am engaged, I think maybe, sometimes this day of love is possibly worse for us loved up couples than single people. Let me explain....

If you're single, you don't have a high expecatation that anything is going to happen. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're only really hoping that when you come into work/school or wherever that morning, there will be a card or flowers or something sitting there, letting you know that you're admired secretly. 
If there is nothing there, you may feel a little downhearted, but nothing will become of it. Maybe just hate the day more. You will continue with your life/colleagues/friends/crush as normal.

If, however, you're in a relationship, I'm guessing, like me, you're expecting some big, romantic gesutre from your partner, so you can feel loved and warm and fuzzy. It's expected of your partners to give you a card, present, meal etc.
If this does not happen, it can result in resentment, anger and misery. And it will last longer than one day. It will last a week, maybe even a year until the next day comes around. You complain that the partner didn't do anything, why didn't he/she do anything for you, it's valentines day. You compare your day with someone elses "oh, but so-and-so's partner did all these wonderful romantic things, and you couldn't even be bothered to write a card", thinking maybe that their relationship is better than yours.
You then feel somewhat un-loved (may be a little extreme), but a maybe little less wanted all the same. It then is blown out of proportion (usually by women), by them esculating the non-romantic gesture on one day to "you never do anything romantic for me". 
This whole day, if not done in the right way, or not at all, can cause a problem in relationships. 

See the difference? 
That's how I feel anyway. When I was single, I was excited for valentines, there was a little glimmer of hope that maybe I would get to school, a valentines day card would be there posted into my locker (there were on a couple of occasions, I still to this day have no idea who they were from!) 
But when I didn't, I was like "ohhh. oh. Ah well"

Now, I am totally expecting lots of things from my fiance this year, as I have previous years and in future years to come. 
Yay for Valentines Day...(if I get lots of presents :P)

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

To be..or not to Be..that is the Question!

It's pathetic...but the real dilemma is....
Although I am not embarrassed by the drunken pictures...should I be?
I'm thinking that maybe, in future, I should think twice before having 1 too many beers, and be a boring drunk.

Not only that...I've also been told that my behaviour is sometimes in itself, a little embarrasasing - when I'm sober! So the question change, or not to change? 

It's a real tough decision. One reason why I enjoy going out on my own with friends, co-workers etc, is because I can be myself and not care how much of a fool I can make myself, and have no one telling me off like I am 5 years old. I know that when I tell them off, they literally -hate- it, and rant about how they're their own person and can do what they want bla bla bla.  
But, I'm not sure if being a little foolish is a good thing. I'm thinking, as much as I don't want to, that I should change and begin to behave myself and be a boring, less fun, "gracious" person and also a person who has one or two glasses of wine when I go out and gets a little tipsy (snoot snoot) and that I should act my age (only 22!) and be more "grown up" (whatever that means at my age!)

I was told, and have been told by friends, co-workers, that I am a funny, and the amount of times people laugh at me, it feels great. I'm also apparently an entertaining drunk, and I really make people laugh. I can hear a little big devil in my ear telling me that this is pathetic and embarrassing and that people are laughing at me rather than with me. 
It sucks. ** I am who I am, and I can't help what I'm like sober or when I've had a bit to drink. I think that as long as it is harmless, it offends no-one, and is not trouble making, then what's the problem? I embarrass you? Well why should you care? It's not their opinion of you that is altered, it's of me. So go away!! 

I don't know. I hate dilemmas. I hate it that other people have an influence over the way I behave (especially if my behaviour is innocent sillyness...not aggressive annoyance).
This is question I have to ask my dear friends. Because they will honestly tell me the answer. I think I already know it....but it helps to have their input that I value so much more than some (because they have nothing to gain or lose from their opinion, they're not the ones who have to live with me!) 

Gahh!! Help =[ 

** I actually began this sentence with "At the end of the day..." but I've recently learned that this is a pet peeve of my friend, so I shall try and refrain from saying it for you =P 

You may think this is pathetic, and there are far more important things to worry about in the world other than "should I be a boring or fun drunk?" Well, yes, but I apologise, that these things aren't really for me to worry about, not will my worrying change them, so for now, I have minor things like this! 

Monday, 6 February 2012

The Great Facebook Dilemma

So yeeeea, we're all (well, most) of us are on it. I'm guessing probably 7 out of 10 people upload photos of holidays, crazy nights out, cosy nights in with a loved one.
Well, it has occurred to me that I am guilty of the same. My whole life is plastered on that site. And I'm beginning to wonder just how...erm....what's the word... necessary that is. I recently learned that pictures I uploaded from an event that happened over the weekend were looked at by someone "checking up on me", someone who apparently never bothers to go on Facebook and "doesn't see the point". 
Now, sorry, but this brings up a lot of questions.
1) Why did they even go on there, when they don't usually go on there?
2) Why did they feel like they needed to check up on me? Trust issue here I assume? Something that I constantly get stick for. 
3) Why would they assume there is something on there that I need to hide? I put it up there for all to see, so, I don't care what is there. 

I was told that these pictures were "an embarrassment" of myself, and I should be ashamed. 
Well, I wasn't embarrassed initially. And why should I be ashamed of, well, doing as many people do - getting drunk and being a little silly? 
As long as I was loyal etc etc, why does it matter? 

Here's the dilemma....

Should I just stop bothering with Facebook completely so that no one sees how silly a drunkered I am? 

I like going on there and letting people know what I think, what I was up to at the weekend etc. But I confess, I don't like going on there and seeing how amazing people's love lives are, or how much money they have by going on holiday all the time. I imagine it's the same with me... people may hate seeing me all loved up with my fiancé etc etc.

And now someone just uses it as a tool to check up on me? I now stand here not knowing what to do...
I think, I should just lay off of it for a bit. I'm not even sure if I should continue to link up this blog to Facebook, in fear of what someone may think when they check up on me...
hmm no, I think that I will just leave it. It's not like I am always on there updating my status every time I laugh at a joke or eat a piece of cheese. I shouldn't let someone influence the way I use this major social element of my life. I might just block them so that if they want to check up on me, they have to ask and trust me. Something that has been drilled into my brain for over 5 years since day 1 "you must trust me. are you checking up on me by ringing me and asking me what I am doing? Yes? Then your're checking up on me must mean you don't trust me" bla bla bla bla. 
Now the tables have turned. I have nothing to hide. Nothing. 
I have decided. I will just continue to use it as I have been doing. I am rather hurt and angry that it's been used as a means of overseeing my behaviour. That's not what it's really therefore. 

Ugh Facebook, you are the bloody bane of my life! 

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Another one gone...

Another weekend has flown by! Which also means another week has gone...2 down, 2 weeks to go... until I go on my long weekend away to Paris with my best friends, and also 2 weeks until I leave my old job and start my new! 
This weekend began with my work colleagues and I having leaving drinks (as is tradition), beginning in the local crap old man's pub and then making our way to Liverpool Street. It was a real fun night...not that I can remember much, looking at the photos I just can't remember certain things! All I can remember is walking round and round and round looking for salt beef bagels, which was well worth it, and having a laugh with the two Nats...! 
Saturday (the day after) I felt really icky in my skin, that sort of weird uncomfortable hungover feeling, and I was a little dizzy...and totally knackered! So it was amazing to just stay in bed all day with my gorgeous man, watch crap T.V, films, play on the xbox and eat junk. It was bliss. Then it started to snow! By 10 o clock pm there was about 2 inches on the ground, so my fiancé stayed with me again. All snuggled and warm under the covers, I fell asleep happy and well rested in his arms (aawww ... bleurgh!!) 
Woke up to a white wonderland (well, wonderland is probably the wrong word..this is only Essex!) ... a little over 4 inches (we measured!) fell overnight! It looks so pretty!  
We got up, walked into town, got a few bits and dinner for the week then came home and now sitting in my room, blogging, playing games, facebooking, etc etc. 
Not a very exciting post for now, but I am still tired, recovering from Friday night! 
It'll get better soon!! 

Chow for Now!