Monday, 31 October 2011

Monday Morning – Halloween – last day of October =[ - *give-away rules UPDATED*

I have TWO new followers! Thanks girls for adding me, I appreciate it, and I will definitely return the favor!
I also have ONE person entering the give-away. I was thinking, maybe I will just change it so that you don’t have to enter, I will automatically add my followers into the hat! It seems fairer that way!
Soooo the rules have changed! You don’t have to comment (thank you juNe who has, I will add you anyway!)
When I reach 20 followers, I will enter each of you into it, after assigning you a number, and then use a random number generator to pick 3 numbers!

The weekends are too darn short. Especially if you’re working on one of the days! Saturday evening was lovely, the fiancé met me, and we got a kebab (soo delish) and watched Insidious to get into the Halloween weekend! It is awful, so scary! I recommend it. We were going to watch another horror, but I was too freaked out by Insidious, I needed to calm down!
Sunday we went to The Clink prison in London, near London Bridge. It is worth a go, but it was not as good as I thought it was going to be unfortunately. We then got a bagel (soo good!) and wandered round a bit, before jumping on the tube to Oxford Street, where my bank account took a hit in Forever 21!
So that was my weekend! How was yours?!

Saturday, 29 October 2011

Saturday 9 - Halloween Meme!

I've recently started following Saturday 9
and this is my first one! Hop over there and get following too, it's a really great way to blog if you're ever stuck for ideas! Thanks Saturday 9!!

1. Do you enjoy holidays like Halloween or is your approach more robotic?
I enjoy the spookiness of Halloween, and the dressing up.

2. Have you ever been to a haunted house? 
No, I really want to. I am going to a supposed haunted prison tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes!

3. What are you doing for Halloween this year? 
This year, I haven't celebrated it  properly this year. I haven't dressed up and gone to a party or to a club. Me and the other half are just going to watch scary movies tonight and visit a "haunted" old prison called The Clink in London tomorrow.

4. What was your lamest Halloween costume ever? 
When I was young, I trick or treated with my younger brother. I always had great costumes, but my brother, had a pretty lame one. He was a ghost, so he was an old white bed sheet with two holes cut out so he could see. It looked hilarious, and very ghost like. But, a bed sheet? It was lame!

5. Is handing out candy fun for you, or more of a nightmare?
It is fun to see the little kids make an effort, and I don't have to buy the candy yet because I still live with my parents, so I am happy to give it away! 

6. Do you buy trick-or-treat candy and end up eating it yourself? 
 Nope. I am not a big fan of sweets!

7. Did you carve any pumpkins this year? 
Not yet, but I plan to! 

8. What was your favorite costume as a child? 
A witch! I had it all, the dress, the fingers, the nose, hat, broomstick, and cat. It was awesome! 

9. What is your biggest pet peeve about trick-or-treaters? 
Idiotic teenagers who just see it as a stupid chance to throw eggs at houses.  And the scream mask. Gives me shivers!

Happy Halloween People!

Giveaway Rules!

Fellow bloggers/readers! 
I apologise for letting my blogging slip...I promised to let you know how to enter my give-away yesterday, and I totally didn't. Epic Fail - as they say! 
Soooo I shall do it now! Ok, to enter, please follow me, and then comment on this post, telling me your address! No no, I'm joking. Please don't tell me where you live, unless your the winner! 
Just click the "follow me" button!

What's the prize? 
3 of you will each get a cute little notebook, and epically cool badge that says " the pandasaur" that I ordered from the lovely people at 

How will I be chosen? 
I will assign each of you a number and then use a random number generator to pick out 3 numbers!

Whats the catch?
Ahh, well, there's not really a catch...I will only carry out the prize draw when I have 20 followers! I have 12 at the moment, so when I have 8 more, I will draw 3 winners. Oh, and, if you could, please brag about your win on your blog to your friends and family =P !

How long will it be going on for?
Hmm, I will give it 2 weeks! So starting from today, Saturday 29/10/11, the competition will end 2 weeks on Saturday 12th November (12/11/111)

Go, go go!! I'm looking forward to welcoming new people to my blog, and sending 3 of you lovely people the amazing notebook and badge! 
I hope you all have a fabulous weekend =]

Monday, 24 October 2011

Goood Day!

I got in to work this morning, and I realised that for a Monday morning, I am in a strangely good mood! This may be down to the fact that the weekend was a bloody good one! Friday night was a night in front of the telly with the fiancé, falling asleep and then waking up Saturday to take my new credit card for a spin in town. Everyone that I told that I got a credit card; I was met with the same response, a sharp intake of air and a shake of the head. Now, I am really not stupid. I am not going to end up following the same path as those before me, maxing it out, and then never being able to pay it off and ending up (sometimes) in debt. I was told by the bank that it is a good idea just to use it for online purchases, as it is harder to commit fraud (touch wood it doesn’t happen) on credit cards than debit, and you are more likely to get the money back. It is also a good way to build up a credit rating for when I eventually apply for a mortgage!
Anyway, coming back to the topic in hand, Saturday night Gavin and I were invited to stay round his s brother’s girlfriends flat. It was a really good night and I enjoyed getting to know her more. She lives about 45 minutes away in a lovely little country town. The flat is gorgeous, new build and I actually felt at home. We chatted, drank, watched tv, got ready, went to a local pub, listened to a live band, talked, drank, laughed, walked back to the flat, drank, ordered takeaway, watched tv, fell asleep. We then were treated to a fry up breakie, which is exactly what I needed and then was taken back to Gavin’s house. I think I’m feeling it now though, I am knackered. Nonetheless, I enjoyed getting to know her. We share the same name, both our best friends have the same name, and we are both really small. I’m looking forward to doing all again soon, and I promised to return the favour by having them both round our house (when we move out in about 3 years time!!).
Sunday, I put on Enigma and Jean Michael Jarre, and napped all afternoon. Perfect! 

 This has nothing to do with the weekend, I just loved it! (My inner geek is coming out!)

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Thank yooooouuu!!

This is just a post to say thanks. Thank you to you, my readers. When I log in each day and see that my page views go up, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Thank you to you, my followers. I now have 12, which is fab, and I am so very grateful of each and every one of you! Finally, thank you to everyone who comments on my posts. I love getting you support, advice, and thoughts about my posts. 

As a token of my gratitude, I was thinking of hopping on the blog train of give-aways. Should I reach 20 followers, I will award 3 of you lucky people an ickle pressie. Now, I have literally just thought of this, so I don't actually have in mind what I plan to give away. I'm imagining that it may be notebookey, stationery orientated, as those are the sorts of things that is me, and I would love to share my secret "obsession!" Therefore, I won't officially open the competition up just yet. I will get the prizes, this week, and open the give-away up on Friday 28th October, and on this date I shall tell you what you need to do to enter! Just giving you all a little heads up, and, watch this space! 

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Rantings of a Graduate... Again!

Ever feel like your life is on pause? Or, at least, on slow mo? I do at the moment. I got this feeling while I was at uni. I felt like I wasn’t going anywhere in my life, that it had just stopped. The only thing that kept me going, was the notion (that was being forced into my brain everyday) that when I graduate, I will get some really great job, a job that I can make a career out of, and then the brakes of life would have been lifted and I would be rolling along nice and smoothly.
How wrong was I?

My life, is once again, and pretty much still is, stuck. The handbrake is firmly up, and it is stopping me from going anywhere. My final exam was in May. I got a job in August. I graduated in December. I’m still here at this same job. Job. That’s all it is. Nothing more, nothing less. I can’t make a career out of it, and I’m getting a little more minimum wage. People who work on my desk are mainly school leavers. You know what that implies – a degree is not needed for this job.

I know, I always moan about the situation I am in, and I apologise if I seem to be ungrateful. I am. It’s just that every day I wake up, disappointed that I went to university, got a degree in psychology, and I am not using it. I am trying, so hard to make it count. But I’m not getting anywhere. I’ve had a few interviews for some really great companies. The Civil Service, Penguin, Arup, J O Hasbro Investments. All amazing companies, in amazing London, with amazing prospects. But every bloody time, I get rejected, with the same “lack of experience” response, which is a load of crap, because I have more than enough to meet the job spec and beyond. I interview great apparently. Well, I should hope so, as I have had enough practice.
Like I said, I know I go on and on about it. But I really want to put across to whoever is reading out there, how hard it is to make something of yourself in life, with a degree. How hard it is to graduate in a country where there are thousands of graduates, and try and find a job to make the degree worthwhile. Graduate jobs have now changed their criteria from last year. 

Applying for the same schemes this year as I did last year, and they now ask that the candidate has over 330 UCAS points (AAB in A levels). This proves in itself just how unvalued the degree is these days, because so many people have one. As well as having a degree, you need good A levels. Something that I don’t have, and something that is absolutely pointless, because I know people who messed around in college, and got awful grades, but wanted to make something of themselves, so that managed to go to uni and get an amazing degree. I received 3 B’s at A levels, and a 2:1 degree. You would have thought that this was good enough? Apparently not.  

I want to do something with my life. I want a career. I want a job where I can utilize my degree.
Anyone out there that can help me?!
Any advice would be welcome!

Inheritance Tracks

My friend needed help a few days ago with his project called “Inheritance Tracks" (or something along those lines!) Find him at his blog here
The project involves simply putting forward two songs: one that was passed down to you from your parents (or one that distinctly holds memories of your childhood) and one that you would like to pass down to your children if or when you have any.
The song that my dad passed to me is Genesis’ Home by the Sea. When I was younger and still had Sunday dinner with my family, Genesis was often played as background music, and Home by the Sea is a distinctive song that sticks out in my memories. I too now share this love for Genesis and Home by the Sea means a lot to me. Every time I hear it, it takes me back to my younger days, when life wasn’t such a rat race! 

The song I would like to pass down to my children is Everlong by the Foo Fighters. This song means a lot to me and my relationship, and I love the lyrics and the pace of the song. It can mean so much, and be interpreted in so many different ways, that I would like my children (should I have any) to listen to it, and get that “I have waited hear for you, everlong”. I want them to hear it and remember happy times that we may have together as a family, and know that “mummy and daddy love each other so much”. 

I now ask you, few (or many) lovely readers of my blog, to do the same. I would love to know the songs that you all choose! Either write a blog post and link to my blog, or simply comment, and I’ll add it to a blog post later on today =]

Looking forward to reading your replies! (I hope I have some!)

Monday, 17 October 2011

The Weekender

Autumn seems to be going well so far. It is actually looking like the pictures from my Awesome Autumn post! A few highlights from this weekend:
  •      Snuggling in with the fiancé Friday night and falling asleep in each other’s arms. 
  •      Waking up early on Saturday and wandering around the town centre running some much needed errands. 
  •      Spending the best part of the day at our local forest, feeling very Autumnal! 
  •       Star gazing, trying to take decent photos of the moon, spotting satellites and shooting stars, keeping each other warm! 
  •      Having a delicious pub lunch with our very good friends. 
  •     Lazing around watching films

Today’s weather has not been so good. The past 2 weeks of October have been gorgeous, but today it’s rather miserable. Typical English weather. If it continues like this, I’m pretty sure my good Autumnal feelings won’t last!

Friday, 14 October 2011

“Doubt makes the mountain which faith can move”

"There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.”
Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C

If a beautiful stranger walked up to you, and wanted to have you, right there and then, and there was no way on earth anyone would know about what you did, just you and her/him, would you do it? Would you betray someone you loved for that small moment of "excitement"?
I know I really wouldn't. I suffer terribly from guilt.


I have been having a lot of this lately. Doubting everything. New job possibilities, family. Even my own fiancé.
And I really don't know why. I seem to be questioning everyone and everything, and it really is not healthy. But I can't escape it. It won't leave me alone.
I've had times like this before. In the past. And it's usually this niggling doubt that I hate so much that has actually been there for a reason. It has actually helped bring to light the "truth". But this has not happened for a number of years now. 

Why? Why am I imagining stupid, irrational, idiotic thoughts? I mean, WTF is that about? It's pathetic. And I need to get out of this frame of mind. It's so very wrong! Any friends or family reading this will slap me silly and tell me to snap out of it. I'm being totally unreasonable.

Then, you never know. For real. Do you? Unless you have a spy, or have the time of day to follow someone around all day, you will never know for absolute. All you can do is trust. Trust is very powerful. With it, you can do what you want. You can do anything, so long as the person trusts you, you'll never have to worry. Until, obviously, you get caught. Then, the trust is broken. It can be healed. Just like a broken vase, it can be super-glued back together. But now it's weak. It is so much easier to break again. Accidentally or on purpose. The crack will always be there.
Surely, this doubt has to be fake. There must be no reason for it. For any of it. Toward anyone. Or anything. 

I don't know. It's hard. To trust someone has become a little difficult for me lately. It seems like I am programmed to doubt something perfect, when there is no need for it. Something in my head is telling me "something is wrong. It has to be. This is far too good to be true". 

Why do we think like that? Where did that saying even come from? "If it's too good to be true, it usually is". Or something along those lines. It seems like I have adopted this philosophy. I really don't like it. I really have no need to think like this. I need that cognitive behavioural therapy. I need to turn irrational, negative thoughts into positive ones. I mean, I have nothing but pure paranoia causing the doubt. That is no reason to even think of unimaginable things. 

Go away doubt. Please. I have no reason to bear your weight on my shoulders. My friends, fiancé, and family all love me, and they would never hurt me. Take you and your friend Paranoia somewhere far, far away from me. I never want to see you again. You have the potential to ruin things, and I hate you both for it. 

“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt”
William Shakespeare quotes (English Dramatist, Playwright and Poet, 1564-1616)

Wish List!

There are soooo many items of clothing and accessories I want to buy right now. has a huge sale on and is just so brilliantly cheap. Boohoo has a whole animal print collection going on at the moment, and leopard print is my fave. I’m pretty sure I started the trend. I probably didn’t but I was wearing it for a long time before this huge trend came into being. It’s the same with skulls. I love skulls. My finance bought me a really lovely skull necklace, which I’ve temporarily lost (and I am most upset about) and I just want more.  
So the three top things I want this Autumn/Winter is:
-          Skulls
-          Leopard print
-          Feathers.

 Tops, dress and feather earrings -
Skull necklace -

After reading blog, I have seen the marvel that is feathers. I only have one feather necklace with matching feather earrings that I love, and really susges up a plain black vest top or t-shirt. Now I want more! When my friends and I went to Spitalfields market on Sunday, (near Liverpool Street Station, London – if you get a chance to go, please do. It’s amazing. Make sure you win the lottery first) there was an entire stall dedicated to feather accessories. I wanted them all. But the lowest costing necklace being £25, I thought it was a bit much just for a feather on a necklace. So I am on the hunt for cheap feather necklaces/earrings. If anyone knows of such a place that sells them, please let me know!

I have been thinking about my “fashion” lately. I really love my jeans. I live in them (I have a lot of jeans!)  I’ve got a couple of casual dresses that I’ve worn once or twice, but I just don’t feel comfortable. I obviously love dressing up in gorgeous night out dresses, mainly from Lipsy or Topshop, and I feel so good in those. But on a more casual level, I feel most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt (or some sort of top!), converse or boots. I really do want to be more “feminine” and wear skirts and dresses, and I have tried this, but it just doesn’t do it for me. My fiancé says to me it’s no problem, and he loves me in whatever. I mean, of course he would. I would and do think the same about his attire. But I do notice that when I am wearing a dress or a skirt he is all over me more than usual. That’s to be expected I assume, as it’s something different, I don’t wear it all the time, and it’s a treat. Just like when he is in a suit.
Ah, so I think I have just answered my own dilemma. Keep to what I wear. When I do dress up or decide to wear a dress or skirt, it will be more of a treat for him (and me) more so than if I were to dress like it every day. Haha!

Monday, 10 October 2011

Finger's Crossed for an Awesome Autumn!!

It’s getting close to the 30th October, when British Summer Time officially ends. I’m feeling good about the new season. Autumn mainly. Not winter. I don’t understand people who enjoy getting up and going home in darkness, being freezing cold, wet, snowed on, and just darn right miserable!
I usually dread Autumn, but this year, it feels different. I’m actually looking forward to those crisp, dry sunny days that have a slight chill in the air. I want to go to the forest near me on Sunday and just walk amongst the changing trees, take some pictures with my actual camera, and just enjoy the fresh air (all providing, of course, that this is a sunny day. Ok, it says Sunday is going to be mostly cloudy, but Saturday will be clear with highs of 16 degrees C. Well, Saturday or Sunday, I would like to try and embrace the change!
I’m looking forward to snuggling in front of the tv on the cooler nights. I’m looking forward to dragging my other half out into my garden and sitting under the stars on the clear nights, with a blanket and hot chocolate. In my head, my Autumn looks like this:

It will probably end up looking more like this:

And I may end up changing my mind somewhere down the line, moaning about the weather and the darkness and the lack of sunlight! I hope not, but, I’m like that!
So here’s to a Awesome Autumn, and fingers crossed that it will be an enjoyable one!

Jenni's Round Up!

I had a really good weekend. I kinda ruined it though in the last hour of last night with the other half, which put a downer on things. What was worse was that it was totally my fault for making a big deal out of an irrational thought, and that made me feel more upset and frustrated because I didn’t need to say anything in the first place! That always seems to be the way. I have an amazing weekend and then I bugger it up! It is hormones though, every month this happens. I’m not just using them as a scapegoat, it honestly is the way.

Anyway! So I had a fun filled jam packed weekend. During the day on Saturday, Gavin took me to London and bought me a new Betsey Johnson bag! It’s beautiful! It’s my new favourite! I think this is my 6th Betsey Johnson bag now. I think I have a little obsession with Betsey Johnson. I will write more on that in another post! 

In the evening, I went to my friends H themed 21st Birthday Party. It was a great party, and I had such a great time. I think only had one cider, yet I felt so drunk! I felt all my inhibitions go, and I just danced the night away with my friends and acted a bit silly! I think I have more fun when I go out without the other half, as I can’t just let go and be myself and be silly. I don’t go near any other guys, I don’t mean that kind of fun. I mean the kind of fun where I don’t get told off for acting like a bit of an idiot! My best friend and her other half went as a highlighter and the Hoff. Now they are a couple who knows how to have fun! I just know how to have fun on my own (well, and with my friends!)

Sunday my two best friends and I went to London. We spent most of the day in Spitalfields market, which is amazing, walked to Brick Lane, had a Chinese, visited a wonderful craft fair, went to an amazing shop called The Doll Shop, and then went to the biggest Paperchase ever in Tottenham Court Road! 3 huge floors of wonderfulness! I managed not spend hundreds and hundreds of pounds in there as I wanted to, but bought a few essentials that came to under £20! It was a fab day, I love going on girly trips with my friends, always makes me very happy.

Friday, 7 October 2011

I need a Life Remote...

Sooo here’s the sit rep for my life:
I am 22 years old.
I have a 2.1. degree in psychology.
I have a fiancé of over 6 years (engaged for a few months!)
I have a dead end job.
I am looking for a career
I live at home.
We are saving for a deposit.
We are struggling to save.
It’s tough.

I kinda started a heated discussion last night between me and my fiancé. I was blaming him for things that were really not his fault, they were totally situational problems.
But it is tough being with someone for 6 years, and still not living together, and not even having the capacity to live together (unless someone rich in my family dies or we win the lottery!)

I think, sometimes, I can see why people who have been together since school, break up. It’s because, although they may be young, and life has barely begun, the relationship is not, it’s old and so much has happened, and the lid is shut firmly tight on the relationship box. There is no room for anymore new, fresh relationship moments until we move out, get better jobs etc. Sometimes I have a moment where I have lost all patience, and just think “I’m bored. I’m bored with the relationship; it’s stuck, barely moving at a snail’s pace.” I just want to escape, go travelling for a bit, then come back and re-start. Hit the re-start button. Wouldn’t it be good if life had it?
But then I snap back into rational made, patience takes over again, and I think otherwise. I wouldn’t leave my other half; he is my everything and my life. I love him; I am in love with him and I would not change us for the world and its brother. Adventure will happen for the both of us. It’s not my fault; it’s not his fault that we are stuck like this. I just have to keep reminding myself that everything will happen in good time, when it’s supposed to (which is sooo darn hard!). I’m sure everyone feels that way sometimes, right?!

Our country needs a reset button. I know people same age as me or younger, who were given houses and money, have kids, have no desire to contribute to the country, have no thought to get a job and do something with their life, and are perfectly happy like that, because that’s what they chose. It’s not really fair that people like myself who have degrees and a desire to work and get a house, a mortgage, and life the “normal” life, get sort of, punished, and pushed back, great big obstacles thrown at them, that makes it even harder to get further in my life.

So that’s where I am in my life right now.  Pretty stuck. I feel like I’m one of those short films, where the person is standing in the middle of a city, not moving, while life hustles and bustles and moves past her at an increased speed. Life is going past me too quickly, and I want, I need to catch up.