Friday, 7 October 2011

I need a Life Remote...

Sooo here’s the sit rep for my life:
I am 22 years old.
I have a 2.1. degree in psychology.
I have a fiancé of over 6 years (engaged for a few months!)
I have a dead end job.
I am looking for a career
I live at home.
We are saving for a deposit.
We are struggling to save.
It’s tough.

I kinda started a heated discussion last night between me and my fiancé. I was blaming him for things that were really not his fault, they were totally situational problems.
But it is tough being with someone for 6 years, and still not living together, and not even having the capacity to live together (unless someone rich in my family dies or we win the lottery!)

I think, sometimes, I can see why people who have been together since school, break up. It’s because, although they may be young, and life has barely begun, the relationship is not, it’s old and so much has happened, and the lid is shut firmly tight on the relationship box. There is no room for anymore new, fresh relationship moments until we move out, get better jobs etc. Sometimes I have a moment where I have lost all patience, and just think “I’m bored. I’m bored with the relationship; it’s stuck, barely moving at a snail’s pace.” I just want to escape, go travelling for a bit, then come back and re-start. Hit the re-start button. Wouldn’t it be good if life had it?
But then I snap back into rational made, patience takes over again, and I think otherwise. I wouldn’t leave my other half; he is my everything and my life. I love him; I am in love with him and I would not change us for the world and its brother. Adventure will happen for the both of us. It’s not my fault; it’s not his fault that we are stuck like this. I just have to keep reminding myself that everything will happen in good time, when it’s supposed to (which is sooo darn hard!). I’m sure everyone feels that way sometimes, right?!

Our country needs a reset button. I know people same age as me or younger, who were given houses and money, have kids, have no desire to contribute to the country, have no thought to get a job and do something with their life, and are perfectly happy like that, because that’s what they chose. It’s not really fair that people like myself who have degrees and a desire to work and get a house, a mortgage, and life the “normal” life, get sort of, punished, and pushed back, great big obstacles thrown at them, that makes it even harder to get further in my life.

So that’s where I am in my life right now.  Pretty stuck. I feel like I’m one of those short films, where the person is standing in the middle of a city, not moving, while life hustles and bustles and moves past her at an increased speed. Life is going past me too quickly, and I want, I need to catch up.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love the new design to your blog, and a hearty 'I hear ya!' to your post :)