Tuesday, 7 February 2012

To be..or not to Be..that is the Question!

It's pathetic...but the real dilemma is....
Although I am not embarrassed by the drunken pictures...should I be?
I'm thinking that maybe, in future, I should think twice before having 1 too many beers, and be a boring drunk.

Not only that...I've also been told that my behaviour is sometimes in itself, a little embarrasasing - when I'm sober! So the question is...to change, or not to change? 

It's a real tough decision. One reason why I enjoy going out on my own with friends, co-workers etc, is because I can be myself and not care how much of a fool I can make myself, and have no one telling me off like I am 5 years old. I know that when I tell them off, they literally -hate- it, and rant about how they're their own person and can do what they want bla bla bla.  
But, I'm not sure if being a little foolish is a good thing. I'm thinking, as much as I don't want to, that I should change and begin to behave myself and be a boring, less fun, "gracious" person and also a person who has one or two glasses of wine when I go out and gets a little tipsy (snoot snoot) and that I should act my age (only 22!) and be more "grown up" (whatever that means at my age!)

I was told, and have been told by friends, co-workers, that I am a funny, and the amount of times people laugh at me, it feels great. I'm also apparently an entertaining drunk, and I really make people laugh. I can hear a little big devil in my ear telling me that this is pathetic and embarrassing and that people are laughing at me rather than with me. 
It sucks. ** I am who I am, and I can't help what I'm like sober or when I've had a bit to drink. I think that as long as it is harmless, it offends no-one, and is not trouble making, then what's the problem? I embarrass you? Well why should you care? It's not their opinion of you that is altered, it's of me. So go away!! 

I don't know. I hate dilemmas. I hate it that other people have an influence over the way I behave (especially if my behaviour is innocent sillyness...not aggressive annoyance).
This is question I have to ask my dear friends. Because they will honestly tell me the answer. I think I already know it....but it helps to have their input that I value so much more than some (because they have nothing to gain or lose from their opinion, they're not the ones who have to live with me!) 

Gahh!! Help =[ 

** I actually began this sentence with "At the end of the day..." but I've recently learned that this is a pet peeve of my friend, so I shall try and refrain from saying it for you =P 

You may think this is pathetic, and there are far more important things to worry about in the world other than "should I be a boring or fun drunk?" Well, yes, but I apologise, that these things aren't really for me to worry about, not will my worrying change them, so for now, I have minor things like this! 

No comments: