Time to start

 

So I am going to start doing it! I want to start facilitating change in my life. However, going back over my previous blog posts, I have learned that I am not a follower-through-er. As in, I seem to start doing things, but I never finish them. Like my artbook, my to do lists, my notebooks etc, etc. I just can’t seem to do it! I used to be so good at completing things; I actually used to hate leaving things unfinished. I blame my job. Honestly, this job takes very little effort and brain usage, I think it’s simply turned into mush. This does happen by the way, one of the very few things I remember from my degree.
Anyway, coming back to the point. Tonight and tomorrow night, my other half is staying at home doing his much needed ICT course. This leaves me 2 evenings to sort out –a lot – of stuff.

1.       I have to go to the gym. I haven’t been in a week. Naughty Jenni.

2.       It’s my mum’s birthday, and being the creative wannabe that I am, I have to go to Hobbycraft after the gym and buy things to make her a card, and a mini photo album of mother and daughter. This will probably take up most of my time.

3.       My room is horribly untidy. It needs tidying!

4.       Look for lots of jobs and graduate schemes. I hate doing this at home, as I am tired, and I can’t think. But work (for some reason...!) has blocked most job sites. I really want to hurry up and get into a fantastic job!

5.       I probably won’t get this done, but I do need to print off our engagement photos and finish of our scrapbook.

I wish I had more time. When I was in between jobs and uni, I had so much time on my hands, even with the uni work. I never used it wisely, I would just sit around and watch crap tv. How I wish I had used it wisely.

I will do it. I will!

Changes

 Change. 

I want to change. Everything. Well, ok, not everything, but quite a few things. It’s not that I am ungrateful for my life as it is at the moment, I like my life, I am very lucky to have what I have and I do appreciate it sometimes. I just want more. I want a better job that excites me and has possibilities and challenges. I want to move to a better area. I want a house. I just want a better way of living. Just like those who live in Lulworth. The way of living there seems to be simpler, happier, and even healthy. I’ve discovered an amazing place, and now nothing, not even “home” can compare to it. I know I have it better than most, and I shouldn’t complain or wish for better things. But it’s hard when you know that there is so much out there, so many things that are better than what you currently have. There is no way that I feel like I have reached my full potential yet (well, duh, I am only 22), and I feel like the way I am living won’t help me to achieve it. I don’t know. I’m just being contemplative after having my eyes opened to a gorgeous place. It’s only on the south coast of England, and there are probably far more places around the world that I will discover one day, but it felt like home, like I belong there.

I just keep thinking over and over that I’m wasting my life (and my degree!) doing what I am doing and that I need to move on, fast. Then again, my parents keep telling me “for goodness sake, you’re only 22, live, stop thinking about the future.” I feel conflicted with what I want to do, what I should do, how I should be, how I am, how I want to be.

I need to go back to Lulworth and contemplate a bit more. I wish!
I think, as Queen put it "I want it all, and I want it now!"

Welcome to the Home by the Sea

I walked to work this morning, for the first time in a very long time. I walked in the hope that my slight holiday depression would be cured. It didn’t work. I am now sitting here at work, in my scummy town, feeling miserable and missing the cove. Yes. I am back.
I shouldn’t be too upset; I did have an amazingly, perfectly wonderful little mini break with my fiancé. I am happy that I have the memories (and 500 odd photos!) to keep in my heart forever. We definitely want to go back next year for a week. There is so much to do there.
 I realised my dream. I want to live there. My dream is to live by the sea, and have a nice little cake shop, write for money and make things. I want to leave Gavin in bed Sunday mornings, and go for a swim in the cove for an hour or so, then go back and have breakfast in bed and read the paper and have our two dogs on the end of our bed. That is the dream. I have come back with a sense of clarity. However, I still don’t know what I really want to do. In real life. Not my dream world.
Anyway, I have some pictures to put up. These are not the best ones, as they were taken on my phone. I have a few more of my favourites to add. Or you can check the best 250 of them on my facebook account. 

Getting Away

I have just finished writing my list of items that need to be packed. That was fun in itself!

Gavin and I are going away for a long weekend to West Lulworth. 

I am very excited, and I can’t wait to get away and just do nothing but walk and take in the views. I am looking forward to practising some photography; I’m even hoping to buy a mini tripod to take with! The drive is roughly 3 hours, so it will be long, but I do love a mini road trip, music blasting on the stereo and looking at sights on the way (not that there is any on the M25 or the M3 but I can hope!)

So I won’t be blogging for the next 4/5 days or so as I will be away enjoying myself! I will come back with a lot of photos, some of which I hope to boast about how good they are! I am going to try and not have any technology while I’m away. No facebook, no twitter, no blogging. Just the sun (I pray), sand, sea, Gavin and me, and a camera! I want this to be a complete chill out. Back to nature.
So that’s it! Have a good bank holiday weekend! 

Passions

I’m not sure if you’re aware...but one of my passions is photography. I love looking at photos, I love being in photos, I even like watching people take photos, but more importantly, I love taking them. I want to have a permanent camera attached to my head that takes pictures everywhere I go.  I am so desperate to try and learn how to take arty photos, like people post on their blogs, especially ones of my fiancé and me. But there is one problem. Gavin hates it. He hates it when I get my camera out. If it’s just me and him somewhere on a beach or in a forest or in London, and I get it out, he gets a bit moody. I really wish he didn’t. I said to him when I bought my camera, that he must realise it will be with us wherever we go, and I will be using it. He understood, and even encouraged me to take pictures with it. But that didn’t last very long. He now groans when I pull it out of my bag. I wish he would understand how passionate I am about photos, and capturing a few moments of our lives. Most of the time, he succumbs to it, and just does it. But I wish he would share my passion, and enjoy it. I wish he would get involved and take arty pictures of me/us. I want to take pictures like this:

So, my mission when we go to West Lulworth, this place: 

Is to take amazing pictures of us, portraying just how in love we are, and interesting pictures of the scenery. All I ask is that he will happily take part. I part take in his gaming passion, so I wish he would part take in my photography one!

I am going to start reading up on how to achieve this asap. If anyone has any tips, I will be more than grateful to have them!

Mood Boards

So, I wanted to add a couple of mood boards of this year's photos to this blog. 

Love 

Photography

Friends

I am feeling particularly blessed today. I look through my photos, and realise that I have so many amazing memories, thanks to my gorgeous friends and wonderful fiancé. My family have also made their contributions, but they are like the crew behind the scenes on a film set, or the orchestra on a piece of music. Without them, I would be nothing. And, like the behind the scenes guys, they will remain anonymous!