Friday, 25 January 2013

Ranting

Not sure where to start really. Lets just say that this is just a rant that I'll probably delete later once I have my rational head back on. I'm fed up. I'm tired. Because I'm so fecking confused. It seems clearer day by day that someone who lives by the rules, by law, lives a clean healthy life with a job and a savings account, who has a motivation to buy a house, move up in life, only drinks, doesn't do drugs or anything totally illegal, has a degree and is relatively clever- is something that no one actually gives a shit about. Its probably deemed boring by many(not friends), so that person is the least favourite to talk to...or have a laugh with. It's also probably deemed not good enough by the one person who should be proud of that person. She seems to not realise that "well at least she's not sleeping around, at least she's not going out most nights wasting money on alcohol or doing drugs, and she has a degree and a job". She fails to think about what that the way that person's turned out, and instead just thinks about what she wants. out of her way.  Everyday Im starting to struggle with this "normal" life. I often think about just going off the rails, do drugs, become single, go out most nights. Will people then take more interest? I hate to think...
I just can't see why that makes someone feel like the odd one out...
It was completely different. People did take an interest. They laughed at the ditsy, sometimes dirty comments and they were shocked but I think that's one of things that they found interesting. Coz they took the time to find that out.
ugh...give up. give it time. More time. And make her realise that it could be worse.

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